[BHV] Bike shop humor

[Bob Nunnink]

*Life in the bike shop is never dull.* And nothing tops the comments made by
customers, staff, sales reps (and even yours truly). Over the years, we've
written down quotes that are hilarious, amazing or both. Here's a handful to
lighten your day.

---"Is this the bike shop?" Said after the person walks through a two-level
gauntlet of 60 display bikes.

---"Do you guys work on bikes?" I'm asked with my apron on, tool in hand and
grease up to my eyebrows, standing at the repair stand . . . working on a
bike.

---"How much am I gonna hafta work?" a young man asked, looking for a job at
the shop. My response "Not at all and you don't get paid either. Cool, huh?"

---"My husband ain't been performin' so good lately." Elderly lady (and I
mean elderly) looking for a new prostate-friendly saddle for her hubby and,
methinks, lookin' for love in all the wrong places.

---"Get your grunt-boy to help me." Highly sensitive school teacher
referring to one of my young wunderkind employees. Grunt Boy became a pro
photographer for *Climbing* magazine.

---"I crashed this bike on the test ride and scratched it. Can I get a
discount?" *Heeheehee!*

---"You won't find a bike of lower quality than this one." One of my guys,
sales pitching a customer. You could have heard a pin drop. The customer
left, sans bike. I wanted to leave too.

---"What kind of warranty does this water bottle have?" It's guaranteed to
stay wet on the inside? Go figure.

---"Did I lock the door?" *Moi*, who cannot for the life of me remember if I
did. I can't tell you how many times I've had to go back at 2 a.m. to check.
It's always been locked. Hmmm, wonder if it's locked right now?

And my all-time favorite, uttered by a sales rep selling me on the
improvements over last year's model: "It used to be aluminum. Now it's red."


Oh yeah, one more. My lovely wife (and business partner) talked with a
customer in the morning who came back several hours later after he'd tipped
a few.

"You look better in the afternoon," he told her. The fact that he's still
walking is a tribute to her self-restraint.


And if you go to Paul's shop make sure you ask him for a set of pedal hoops.
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