FLCC> Pink slipper

[Mark Rishniw]

Reuters AAP
Dateline August 17, 2007

Operation Puerto causes confusion in Pink Slipper win

As most of the sporting public are aware, Operation Puerto is the 
large Spanish investigation into doping in sports, especially 
professional cycling.  Several well-known athletes have been 
implicated, accused or even convicted of doping through 
collaborations with Dr Fuentes.  Of particular note was the labelling 
of stored blood products (that were subsequently used in autologous 
blood doping) with initials or cryptic monikers to identify the 
athlete in question.  For example, Ivan Basso was identified as 
"Brillo" (after his dog), while Alberto Contador is considered by 
some to be the "AC" on certain bags of blood.

Recent allegations have arisen that "twe", found on some bags of 
blood in Dr Fuentes' possession, and in the diaries indicating dates 
of illegal product administration, may indeed be the pseudonym of the 
recent winner of the illustrious Pink Slipper race in Ithaca NY, 
Ernesto Bayles.  Bayles has professed to having a season like no 
other, claiming several race wins and taking the prestigious Pink 
Slipper win from an in-form Glenn Swan and Jim Eagen.  However, 
investigations into the mysterious "twe" moniker have revealed that 
in fact the "twe" on the products and diaries currently in the 
possession of Spanish authorities, may in fact refer to one Mark 
"Twinkieboy" Rishniw.  It is suspected, on recent evidence, that 
"twe" is an abbreviation for "Twinkie".  Rishniw's suspicious absence 
from the Pink Slipper was shown to be due to a sudden visit to 
Budapest, Hungary, where he was observed meeting with several medical 
professionals at a Hotel lobby.

"I was attending a veterinary conference, and was only consuming 
Goulash, beer and cabbage", said Rishniw, when questioned by 
reporters.  However, details of conference registrants, in documents 
now in possession of this reporter, revealed one "Dr Fuentes" in 
attendance at the same meeting.  Additionally, Rishniw's sudden 
absence on the second day with a "knee injury" has raised doubts 
about his activities.  Further investigations into Rishniw's 
activities showed that he had un-reported travel to Australia in the 
last month, where he was again "at a veterinary conference".  It is 
curious, then, that, just prior to the most important race on the 
calendar, "Twinkieboy" was relaxing on a tropical beach north of 
Cairns, rather than preparing for the upcoming event.  Such 
confidence in his ability can only be explained by the use of 
performance-enhancing products, as he has routinely failed to perform 
well without a rigorous training program.

The investigation continues.  A win in the Cascadilla hillclimb by 
Twinkieboy would go a long way to confirm these suspicions of doping 
by the stocky domestique who climbs hills at a pace akin to tectonic 
plate movement.






>
>
>
>News flash !!!!!!!    Pink Slipper results in question after allegations
>of
>doping surface !  It seems that an investigation into the notebooks of
>the
>Spanish drug scandal revealed the code initials "twe"  among the riders
>associated with the now-discredited "sports doctor".  Although there is
>no
>positive link yet established between Mr. Bayles and Dr. Fuentes, some
>members of cycling's establishment are suggesting that ink-remover be
>kept
>handy in case the labeling of the famous footwear needs to be changed.
>Some
>journalists have suggested that after years of "merely excellent"
>results,
>it seems odd that Mr. Bayles should suddenly be so consistently
>producing
>"spectacular" results. A full investigation is promised in order to
>ensure
>the integrity of the sport.
>
>
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