FLCC> Pink slipper

Mon Sep 17 14:44:47 EDT 2007

Reuters
Sept 17, 2007

Bayles defends Slipper allegations

Recent winner of the Pink Slipper, Ernesto "twe" Bayles, responded to 
allegations by the PSSO (Pink Slipper Sports Organization, the ruling 
and organizing body of the Pink Slipper Classic) and claims by Jim 
"Triboy" Eagen, that he is not the legitimate winner of the 2007 
edition of the Pink Slipper, by instigating legal proceedings against 
the PSSO and Mr Eagen.

"I have set up a defence fund [www.tweslipperfund.org] and contracted 
the best legal representation possible", said Bayles.  Heading the 
Bayles legal team is well-known cycling-lane opponent, Bill Lodico, 
Esq.  Lodico, famous for his approach to cyclists' encounters with 
vicious dogs ("You are within your legal rights to shoot them and 
their owners"), stated: "Ernie's name is staying on the Slipper.  The 
PSSO has no grounds on which to base their allegations. And Eagen 
should realize that chips are always extra - this ignorance is 
exemplary of his understanding of Pink Slipper regulations.  Maybe 
the 'good sensations' he felt in his legs were due to sitting on 
Bayles' wheel for most of the race?"

Bayles' B-sample is currently being tested at the College of 
Veterinary Medicine by Dr Kenny "Home-by-five" Simpson.  "While 
results are preliminary, it seems that Bayles has consumed a quart of 
Single Malt before the Slipper", commented Simpson.  "At least, 
that's what his urine tasted like."  Additional test results are pending.

> > After hearing the news, Reuters contacted Jim Eagen,
> > runner up to Bayles, for a response. Eagen was found
> > waiting on line at Wegman's for a Turkey Panini.
> > After hearing of the possible positive "A" test,
> > Eagen stated that it was only an initial,
> > unconfirmed result and he would not yet consider
> > Bayles, or Twe, guilty or himself the Slipper
> > winner. "I have too much respect for Twe to do
> > otherwise", he said. After hearing that the "B"
> > sample is pending and that it may not even have been
> > Bayles who was tested, Eagen stated that he did not
> > care and now considers himself the Pink Slipper
> > champion. "The scandal should not diminish my own
> > achievement. Like now, I was very hungry. Tuesday,
> > the legs had good sensations so I said to myself 'I
> > hope the legs respond!' and I was correct. Right now
> > I feel like the winner of the Pink Slipper!", Eagen
> > said. "Now does anyone know if my panini comes with
> > chips and a large fountain drink, or is that extra?"
> >
> >
> > ----- Original Message ----
> > From: Ernie Bayles <ebarch1 at verizon.net>
> > To: Mark Rishniw <mr89 at cornell.edu>
> > Cc: flcc at icycle.org
> > Sent: Monday, September 17, 2007 12:52:19 PM
> > Subject: Re: FLCC> Pink slipper
> >
> > I'm mum until they test the B sample
> >
> > twe
> >
> > Mark Rishniw wrote:
> > Reuters AAP  Dateline August 17, 2007    Operation
> > Puerto causes confusion in Pink Slipper win    As
> > most of the sporting public are aware, Operation
> > Puerto is the   large Spanish investigation into
> > doping in sports, especially   professional cycling.
> >  Several well-known athletes have been   implicated,
> > accused or even convicted of doping through
> > collaborations with Dr Fuentes.  Of particular note
> > was the labelling   of stored blood products (that
> > were subsequently used in autologous   blood doping)
> > with initials or cryptic monikers to identify the
> > athlete in question.  For example, Ivan Basso was
> > identified as   "Brillo" (after his dog), while
> > Alberto Contador is considered by   some to be the
> > "AC" on certain bags of blood.    Recent allegations
> > have arisen that "twe", found on some bags of
> > blood in Dr Fuentes' possession, and in the diaries
> > indicating dates   of illegal product
> > administration, may indeed be the pseudonym of the
> > recent winner of
> >  the illustrious Pink Slipper race in Ithaca NY,
> > Ernesto Bayles.  Bayles has professed to having a
> > season like no   other, claiming several race wins
> > and taking the prestigious Pink   Slipper win from
> > an in-form Glenn Swan and Jim Eagen.  However,
> > investigations into the mysterious "twe" moniker
> > have revealed that   in fact the "twe" on the
> > products and diaries currently in the   possession
> > of Spanish authorities, may in fact refer to one
> > Mark   "Twinkieboy" Rishniw.  It is suspected, on
> > recent evidence, that   "twe" is an abbreviation for
> > "Twinkie".  Rishniw's suspicious absence   from the
> > Pink Slipper was shown to be due to a sudden visit
> > to   Budapest, Hungary, where he was observed
> > meeting with several medical   professionals at a
> > Hotel lobby.    "I was attending a veterinary
> > conference, and was only consuming   Goulash, beer
> > and cabbage", said Rishniw, when questioned by
> > reporters.  However, details of conference
> > registrants, in documents
> >  now in possession of this reporter, revealed one
> > "Dr Fuentes" in   attendance at the same meeting.
> > Additionally, Rishniw's sudden   absence on the
> > second day with a "knee injury" has raised doubts
> > about his activities.  Further investigations into
> > Rishniw's   activities showed that he had
> > un-reported travel to Australia in the   last month,
> > where he was again "at a veterinary conference".  It
> > is   curious, then, that, just prior to the most
> > important race on the   calendar, "Twinkieboy" was
> > relaxing on a tropical beach north of   Cairns,
> > rather than preparing for the upcoming event.  Such
> >  confidence in his ability can only be explained by
> > the use of   performance-enhancing products, as he
> > has routinely failed to perform   well without a
> > rigorous training program.    The investigation
> > continues.  A win in the Cascadilla hillclimb by
> > Twinkieboy would go a long way to confirm these
> > suspicions of doping   by the stocky domestique who
> > climbs hills at
> >  a pace akin to tectonic   plate movement.
> >
> >   News flash !!!!!!!    Pink Slipper results in
> > question after allegations  of  doping surface !  It
> > seems that an investigation into the notebooks of
> > the  Spanish drug scandal revealed the code initials
> > "twe"  among the riders  associated with the
> > now-discredited "sports doctor".  Although there is
> > no  positive link yet established between Mr. Bayles
> > and Dr. Fuentes, some  members of cycling's
> > establishment are suggesting that ink-remover be
> > kept  handy in case the labeling of the famous
> > footwear needs to be changed.  Some  journalists
> > have suggested that after years of "merely
> > excellent"  results,  it seems odd that Mr. Bayles
> > should suddenly be so consistently  producing
> > "spectacular" results. A full investigation is
> > promised in order to  ensure  the integrity of the
> > sport.
> > _______________________________________________
> > FLCC mailing list  FLCC at icycle.org
> > http://icycle.org/mailman/listinfo/flcc_icycle.org
> >
> >  _______________________________________________
> > FLCC mailing list  FLCC at icycle.org
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> >
> >   _______________________________________________
> > FLCC mailing list  FLCC at icycle.org
> > http://icycle.org/mailman/listinfo/flcc_icycle.org
> >
> >
> >
> > --   Ernie Bayles, Architect  209 Utica Street
> > Ithaca, New York  14850    607-275-3722 (tel and
> > fax)
> >
> >
> >
> >
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